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"Breaking Chains: Navigating Abusive Systems and How They Create Trauma"

Ever feel like you're stuck in a movie about a dystopian society where progress is promised but somehow never fully realized? Well, let's dive into the real-world drama of abusive systems - the kind you find in families, workplaces, communities, and yes, even in the tangled web of politics. Picture this: advocating for change is like trying to turn your hometown's public transit into the streamlined marvel of London's system. Sounds like a noble quest, right? But here's the kicker – it's not just about navigating bus routes and subway stations. It's about confronting the subtle abuses, the power imbalances, and the entrenched narcissism that permeate these systems. It's like trying to upgrade the entire script of a movie you've been stuck watching on repeat, where the plot twists aren't in your favor, and the director seems to be playing a different game altogether.

Title: Navigating Abusive Systems: A Journey to Resilience and Change

In our complex and interconnected world, we encounter various systems - family, work, community, and political - each with its own dynamics and potential for abuse. Unfortunately, these systems can become breeding grounds for narcissism, leaving those without power traumatized and struggling to find their voice. This blog explores the challenges individuals face when confronting abusive systems, drawing parallels between personal empowerment and societal change.

The Illusion of Choice in Abusive Relationships:

Imagine being told to stay in an abusive relationship and simply "look at the glass as half full." This mindset can be analogous to advocating for change in an inherently flawed system. The image of wanting a public transit system like London's, but facing the reality of limitations in creating such change, mirrors the struggle of individuals trying to break free from abusive dynamics.

Gaslighting and the System's Defense Mechanisms:

Gaslighting, the act of making individuals doubt their perceptions and experiences, is not only present in personal relationships but also embedded in societal systems. The effort to adapt or create change is often met with resistance, with individuals being told they're seeing things "wrong" or are too limited in their perspective. This gaslighting perpetuates the very issues they seek to address.

The System Fights Back:

Often in our society, even where progress is steady, speaking out against abusive systems is met with opposition. Individuals who challenge the status quo are labeled as "crazy" or "socialist," facing threats to their well-being and livelihoods. This resistance hinders progress and maintains the existing power structures.

Building Resilience or Creating Calloused Parts:

While building resilience is crucial in navigating abusive systems, it may come at the cost of developing calloused parts. The need for a stony exterior to withstand narcissistic comments and microaggressions can hinder an individual's desire to live in an open and vulnerable state.

Privilege and Perspective:

Privilege allows those with advantages to find more positives in a situation. Gratitude and the ultimate desires of individuals may not align. While duality in experiences can be a learning opportunity, it raises questions about our responsibility to improve and make a difference in the face of injustice.

Positive Thinking and Spiritual Bypassing:

Is positive thinking about others akin to staying in a relationship for their potential? The blog explores how positive thinking might lead to dismissing discomfort through spiritual bypassing, preventing genuine engagement with societal issues.


In a world where systems can be abusive and narcissistic, the journey to resilience and change is fraught with challenges. Recognizing the limitations, facing gaslighting, and understanding the cost of resilience are crucial steps. As we navigate abusive relationships, both personal and societal, the ultimate goal should be to create a more balanced and just world for all.

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